And the man in the back said
by Theivius Authorius
Summary: Sly and the gang travel to a ball to steal a massive diamond! But Carmelita and Interpol is here too... will Sly be light enough on his feet to make Carmelita's heart dance? A one-shot.


I let out a small gasp when I saw it. Bentley had said it was a big diamond, but I didn't think he meant _Bowling Ball _big. From what I saw, it actually looked hollow, with water inside it. An odd design for a diamond, but apparently effective; the thing was worth millions. I glanced over to my right, to see Murray in the tuxedo three sizes too small, gorging himself on the punch and buffet table. Does he ever stop eating? Sometimes I wonder.

Aside from his constant munching, the ballroom was mostly calm. People chatted with each other, many times laughing at what the other said. Being in the back, I could see a lot; like the delightfully lovely Inspector Fox at her table, sipping the bubbling liquid from her glass at every chance she got. It looked like she needed it too; by how involved Barkley sounded, it was another of his 'Back in the day' stories. I cringed at the memory of my days as a constable, being forced to listen to Barkley's mutterings.

I put my mask back on, and decided to help save her. Walking past some couples, who were dancing smoothly to the music, I tapped her on the shoulder. Her in her white masquerade mask, she was surprised (and maybe a little relieved) to have somebody interrupt Barkley's tale. "Excuse me madam, sir." I said in a slightly disguised tone. I looked Carmelita in the eye, "Would you care for a dance?"

"I would, thank you." She started to get up like a rocket, then caught herself. "Err... pardon me, Chief."

He nodded gruffly, his own mask bobbing slightly. "Try to get back soon; I haven't told you about the sea pirates yet!"

She smiled in recognition as the Chief took a large swig of his champagne, and we bolted away from him into the crowd of dancers on the floor.

* * *

"I could kiss you, whoever you are." She said with a relieved sigh.

I laughed, "Well, I try to help a damsel in distress when I can. And, no offense, but you fit the bill."

This time, she laughed. I stopped for a second, an idea coming to me, and told Carmelita to wait on the dance floor for a second. With a sideways glare, she stayed silent while I walked briskly to the stage. The players were taking a break, so I waved a hand for one of them to notice. The female wolf bent down, and I whispered my request into her ear. She smiled, and nodded at me, while she prepared her violin and told the rest of the band.

I walked happily back to the fox, who still had her confused look. "What was that about?"

"You'll see."

Then the music started. The violin sounded, playing the part of the voice as it was slowly accompanied by the fellow band members.

Carmelita's eyes lit up. "_Habanera! _From _Carmen! _It's my favorite, how'd you know?" She asked sweetly. She reminded me of the old Carmelita now, before the lie. Sad that I still had to lie for her to not shoot me in the foot. I'll still have to find some way to make it up to her.

But there'd be time for thinking about that later. "Just intuition, I guess." I held out a hand, and bowed my head slightly. "Shall we?"

Her mouth curved into a kind smile as her paw met mine. "Lets."

We came together, not unlike that ball in India, and let the music be our guide. As it swelled, we moved more elegantly, and receded when it got quiet. It was a soothing experience, being so close to her again.

"So," I said quietly as we stepped, "what is a beautiful woman like yourself doing with... your friend, at the table?"

"My boss," She said softly. "He wants to check up on me. Lately, my work's been... stressful..." she said as I spun her out, bringing her back after the rotation.

"What do you do? If, of course, you don't mind me asking."

She looked off to the side, as if in thought... debating if telling her identity to a strange dancer was a good idea. "I'm an officer. I"m trying to find a criminal, but he never stays in one place for me to catch him."

And that's the Carmelita I know now: enough wit to make sure you never know everything about her. "Hmm. Sounds frustrating."

"You don't know the half of it," She sighed. I did know half of it; heck, I _am _half of it.

"Who's the crook?"

"Ever hear of Sly Cooper?"

"No," I lied.

"Good," she said with a sad chuckle.

I was surprised at that. "Oh, he can't be that bad, can he?"

"Well... sometimes he isn't." At that I smiled. "But he's normally the most annoying person on the planet."...smile went bye-bye. "He's from a family of thieves, stretching back till ancient times. They always stole from other thieves, or so he says; though he doesn't stop himself from stealing when he can. Wierd sense of morality."

I nodded. "Certainly sounds like it."

We stayed silent again, drifting along with the notes. My eyes darted around, when I wasn't looking into Carmelita's eyes, to see that we had become the center of attention of the other dancers. Even the musicians had been transfixed by us, as they continued to play.

"It looks like we've gotten some unwanted eyes."

I saw her cheeks flush red. "Looks like it."

We stopped momentarily, "Embarrassed?"

"Maybe a little," she said timidly.

"Should we stop dancing?"

A smile came back to her lips. "You're not getting away from me that easily."

Was it ever easy to get away from her? Occasionally. Did I ever really _want _to get away from her? Never.

Then a gleam caught my eye, from the ceiling; Something was on the roof. A winch, from the shadow I saw through the skylight. When she wasn't looking, I scanned the area for Murray, unable to find a trace of the pink hippo anywhere. My eyes drifted back up, to see a dark blob and another figure on the roof. _Looks like I'm on the clock. _

As the song wound down, so did we. I moved as slowly as possible in the beginning, giving the two above enough time to do their magic. They needed time to get this perfect. In the final flare of music, I let her go horizontal, hanging by my arm. We looked into each other's eyes one last time, each of us with kind smiles, and the occasional gasp of being tired. Then the crowd erupted with laughter, whistles and applause. We straightened, then bowed slightly for dramatic effect.

"That was... incredible!" Carmelita was flabbergasted. "Where'd you learn to dance like that?!"

I shrugged, "Little lessons here and there. Looks like they pay off."

"I'll say!" she giggled. But then, like a switch was flipped, she cleared her throat. "I mean... well, that was fun. Thank you."

I smiled when I saw, behind her, that Gregory was spidering his way up, the watery diamond in his clutches, with nobody seeing him. The dim light, compounded with our amazing performance, kept everyone in the dark.

Out of the blue, she grinned at me. A smile came to my lips to seeing her so happy. "You know, there's one more thing about that Cooper guy you should know..."

I was puzzled. "What's that?"

She smirked. "He sucks with changing his voice."

The corner of my mouth curled up in a half-smile. "I could never do that, could I?" She shook her head. "How long did it take you to figure it out?"

"Eh... just a bit after the dip."

"So... you've found a famous criminal! And you're not shooting me yet! Why?"

She shrugged, still smiling. "It's interesting, isn't it?"

"Extremely. But you _do _know that every time you don't get me on the spot, I escape, right?"

"Exactly. I've got to win sometime, don't I?"

A grin came to my face. Then a scream pierced the air, "The Hydrymond! It's gone!"

Barkley stood up in his seat, the glass crashing to the floor, to look toward the stage to find it completely...empty. Except for a calling card. Mine. He stood there, frozen for a few seconds.

"I'll give you a five second head-start, Ringtail." Carmelita said competitively.

I smiled at her, and made my move. I zoomed into the crowd, staying out of sight because of the other people, and disguised my voice again. "Play Ballroom Blitz!" I shouted to the band in mid-run.

The wolf violinist was stuck for a second... then she thought _'Why not?' _She waved a hand to the other musicians, who didn't care much about the diamond; they got paid for their music, not for keeping a diamond safe. The horse guitarist switched out his wooden guitar for an electric. The percussionist cat twiddled her drumsticks in the air, pounding to start the song. _"1-2-3-4!" _

"_Sly, get to the van NOW!" _

"Aww, I wanted to stay for the interpol agents and punch. Do we have to?" I said sarcastically over my clear earpiece. Then, over all the hubbub of the Ballroom Blitz and the craziness of the dancers I heard the barking of a familiar voice; Barkley.

"Every unit of the ballroom, escape in progress! The Diamond's been snatched by Cooper! All units converge to the Galla Ballroom, NOW!"

When I turned around, I saw her tailing right behind me, a shock pistol in her hand, blasting electric bullets at my head. Someday I'm going to figure out how she hides that thing under her dress.

* * *

After pummeling through tons of people to get out, I slammed into the doors. I got far enough away from Carm to stop for a few seconds, to analyze where I could run. Then, out fo the blue, Gregory along with Murray ran down from a ramp that led from the top floor. "Which way, loverboy?" the raccoon asked.

"Funny, coming from the guy who couldn't get a date."

Murray interjected between us, "Can we just get out of here?"

We ran like heck down the other red-carpeted ramp, just in time to be chased by three Interpol agents, and Carmelita and Barkley, firing bullet after bullet at us.

"Woah!" Shouted Gregory as he jumped over one of the massive blasts of energy. When it exploded on the ground, it made a deep smoking hole in the fabric. "Tell me you saw that!" He said, excited that he actually did that. We turned a corner, finally finding our way to the exit. Murray slammed into the door, knocking it off of its hinges, Gregory behind him. When I got through the door, I fished out three small orbs from my pocket; smoke bombs. I ran backwards, hurling them at our pursuers.

I didn't look back to see what happened, my feet were too busy trying to get to the van for my mind to catch up. Greg made his way up front, tossing the diamond to Bentley, who shut it away in a black case. "Punch it!" he shouted to Murray, who made his way into the drivers seat, just as I got in the passengers. We heard the skidding of tires, and the final chord to the song, as we drove out into the streets of Paris, dissapearing from the interpol agents as fast as we could.

"Talk about a Ballroom Blitz! I'm surprised he didn't say 'Everyone Attack'!"

"I'm just glad Carmelita didn't wink!"

Gregory tilted his head sideways. "What?"

"...You know... the woman in the corner? Killing with a wink of an eye?"

He still had a blank stare on his face. I kept waiting for him to get what I meant, but he only blinked. "...Never mind."

**I really liked doing this story, I need the practice with scenes like this. It took a while to write this though, and a lot of listening to Ballroom Blitz and Carmen (Oh, my ears... the pain...). But all's well that ends well! :D I hope you liked it!**


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